It was lovely to see you the other day. I missed you so. It was good to hear about what you've been up to and what your plans are for the near future. But it saddened me too to hear the reasons you cited for not wanting to be a part of a faith community.
Because, dear friend, I want you to know that the personal relationship we have with God is not the only be-all and end-all of our lives as Christians. I am happy that you are continually communicating with God in prayer and in the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist, but God said we are to love Him and also love our neighbour. Archbishop William Goh often highlights in his daily reflection how everything - all the blessings - we receive (including the gift of faith) is meant to be service to humanity, to our fellow brothers and sisters. The blessing of faith that we receive is not just for our own sakes but we are called to share that with others. And how are we to share with others if we don't place ourselves in the position to do so (i.e. being with others)?
You also said that you want to focus first on getting a job, stabilising and settling all the things that you (feel like you) have to put in place for your life. It sounded like you view being part of this community as a distraction from achieving the 'real' things that are needed for your life. But, friend, God would not harm you. He gave the Church to us as a gift, and He gave us each other (community) as a gift. If He is inviting you to something, even if you don't comprehend how yet, know that it is for your welfare and to give you a future with hope (Jeremiah 29:11). He would not be calling you to that place if it would not bring you the joy and peace that comes from the Lord, above what the world offers. It would not be a distraction from your happiness, but on the contrary, an urging in the right direction. You worry about many things but trust in the Lord's providence. Seek Him first and His righteousness and all the things you need will be given to you (Matthew 6:33) in His perfect way and time.
Lastly, it seems like you've made up your mind that when you've checked off all the items on your 'list', you'll be all set and ready to consider being part of a faith community. But know that that choice is only ever a response to an invitation that first came from the Lord. And in His graciousness, He repeatedly lovingly gently invites us even when we so often reject Him. God has given us the freedom to choose, but even when we have finally chosen to follow Him, this is a choice we can only achieve completely through His grace. It is Him who is at work in us that we are able to desire and do things according to His will (Philippians 2:13). Everything good that we do — every good and perfect gift — comes from above, from our Father in heaven (James 1:17).
Friend, I'm praying that there's a silent 'yet' or 'for now' at the end of that sentence when you stated you will not be joining a faith community. This is not about being a part again of our faith community, but being a part of any faith community (more specifically, the one that God is calling you to be in because that is where He will love you most and you can grow to love Him most). But I just want you to consider that if this community has already been placed right in front of you — it is being offered to you — will you not even give it a chance? Let's not jump to conclusions or already make judgements, because the Lord is all powerful and I believe in the transformation, renewal and growth that He can make happen in the lives of individuals and all of us as a community. Who knows — it might even be through you that God will exhibit more of His love and mercy to His people in the community.
But I also understand that God reaches each of us personally and uniquely, so if you are in search of another community, I will support you 200% and my heart will leap with joy at that news. Just don't keep to yourself because you are a blessing and a lamp that can give light to all (Matthew 5:15) if you allow God to work through you; and also, God wants to bless and love you more through other people! :) Allow Him to do that for you.
With love,
Marie
(originally meant to be posted in July 2017)
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